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Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained | |||
"In What Direction or When" by Sharon Olds is a contemplative reflection on the enduring and complex nature of grief and memory. The poem explores the speaker's realization that her father's presence has finally dissipated, ten years after his death, capturing a moment of profound reckoning with the finality of loss. Olds uses vivid and imaginative imagery to convey the process of letting go and the symbolic return of her father's essence to the earth. The poem begins with the acknowledgment that the speaker has become aware of her father's absence too late to know "in what direction he went or when." This line encapsulates the elusive nature of memory and the gradual fading of a loved one's presence. The use of the term "ghost" suggests that the speaker has been living with the lingering presence of her father, a spectral figure that has finally departed. The moment of realization occurs on his birthday, a time often marked by remembrance, when the speaker turns to address him and finds "no one there." The emptiness is palpable, described as "the space, where no one was," a void that feels as though it has been unoccupied for some time. This empty space symbolizes the speaker's internal shrine, where memories of her father once resided. As the speaker grapples with this realization, she experiences a vision of her father "without clothes, the size of my thumb," kneeling and crawling into a "cold, open lily in the woods." This image is surreal and tender, depicting her father as small and vulnerable, returning to a natural, primal state. The "cold, open lily" serves as a metaphor for the earth, a place of origin and final resting. The description of the lily as a "moist, chilly, washed throat" evokes a sense of purity and renewal, suggesting a return to the elements from which life emerged. The poem continues with a reflection on the speaker's personal perspective, acknowledging that this image is "just my figure of him." The recognition that others may still sense his presence while she no longer does highlights the subjective nature of grief and memory. The metaphor of her father being laid "into a calla lily" with "nixie shoulders caressed by anthers" evokes a gentle and almost mythic transformation, blending the human and the botanical. The mention of "xylem" further reinforces the naturalistic imagery, as it refers to the vessels in plants that conduct water, symbolizing a return to the cycle of life. The poem concludes with the speaker's acceptance of her father's complete departure. She reflects on whatever unfulfilled desires or unresolved issues she may have had, acknowledging, "Whatever it was I had wanted from him / I know I could never have had." This line signifies a release from lingering expectations or regrets, a recognition that some things were never possible. The final wish for her father to "sink with some chemical honor back down into the water table" carries a sense of closure. The "water table" represents the deep, underground reservoirs of water, suggesting a natural and honorable return to the earth's systems, an integration into the larger cycle of nature. "In What Direction or When" poignantly captures the speaker's journey through grief, moving from a lingering sense of her father's presence to an acceptance of his complete departure. Sharon Olds skillfully blends the personal and the universal, using rich, evocative imagery to explore themes of loss, memory, and the inevitable return to nature. The poem reflects on the intimate process of laying a loved one to rest in one's own heart and mind, finding peace in the acknowledgment of their final, natural dissolution. Through this meditation, Olds offers a profound understanding of the passage of time and the quiet, enduring power of nature to reclaim and transform.
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