Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

"The Meal" by Sharon Olds is a deeply evocative and poignant exploration of a daughter's perspective on her mother's struggle with depression and self-preservation. The poem delves into themes of maternal sacrifice, the complexities of familial relationships, and the painful realities of mental health.

The poem begins with a vivid image of the mother at the breakfast table, described as having "excellent skeletal posture." This choice of words immediately conveys a sense of fragility and strength, suggesting a woman who is physically diminished yet still holds herself with a certain dignity. The setting—home from school, at the breakfast table—places the reader in an intimate, everyday context, heightening the emotional impact of the scene.

The mother's act of eating "one scoop of cottage cheese" becomes a powerful symbol of her struggle to maintain life. The description of her "forcing" herself to eat, despite a lack of desire to live, highlights the tension between her will to survive and her despair. The mother's actions are portrayed as a conscious effort to stay alive for the sake of her children, demonstrating a profound sense of duty and love. The daughter's observation that the mother fed herself "small spoonful by small spoonful, so you would not die and leave us without a mother" underscores the mother's sacrifice, enduring life despite her suffering.

Olds uses stark, visceral imagery to convey the mother's emotional and physical state. The "mound rounded as a breast" emitting a "cold moony light" evokes the image of nourishment and motherhood, yet it is described in a way that feels distant and cold, reflecting the mother's emotional detachment. The mother's stare at the plate is likened to an "orphan forty years old staring at the breast," a metaphor that suggests a deep sense of loss and abandonment. The mother's condition—"a freshly divorced woman down to 82 pounds"—further emphasizes her vulnerability and the toll of her emotional pain.

The poem also touches on the complex dynamics between the mother and her own mother, as well as between the mother and daughter. The mention of "the best thing her mother ever did for her was to die" suggests a painful history, possibly indicating that the mother's struggles were influenced by her relationship with her own mother. This line adds a layer of intergenerational trauma and highlights the cyclical nature of familial pain.

Despite the mother's struggle, the poem does not depict her as a passive victim. The daughter's recollection of her mother's "spoon moving like the cock moving in the body of the girl waking to the power of her pleasure" introduces a surprising metaphor that conveys a sense of agency and life force. The spoon, an instrument of nourishment and survival, becomes a symbol of resilience and the will to live. The mother's act of eating, described as "rising in courage, bite after bite," transforms the mundane action into an act of defiance against despair.

The closing lines of the poem, where the daughter remembers her mother "tilted rigid over that plate until you polished it for my life," encapsulate the mother's determination to sustain herself, and by extension, her children. The mother's effort to "polish" the plate can be seen as a metaphor for her attempt to maintain some semblance of normalcy and stability, despite her internal turmoil.

"The Meal" is a powerful meditation on the complexities of love, duty, and survival within a family. Sharon Olds masterfully captures the quiet heroism of a woman struggling with depression, and the impact of her struggle on her daughter. Through vivid imagery and emotional depth, the poem reveals the profound strength required to endure life's hardships and the ways in which love can manifest in the most ordinary, yet extraordinary, acts of perseverance.

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