Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

In "Yes" by Denise Duhamel, the poem explores the complexities of communication within a cross-cultural marriage, illustrating the nuanced meanings of a simple word "yes" in Filipino culture as perceived through an American lens. Duhamel uses a conversational and slightly humorous tone to navigate the serious underlying issues of misunderstanding and adaptation in relationships that bridge different cultural backgrounds.

The poem opens with a reference to "Culture Shock: A Guide to Customs and Etiquette of Filipinos," which outlines various interpretations of "yes" in Filipino communication. These range from genuine agreement to passive disagreement or reluctance. This cultural discrepancy becomes a focal point for the speaker's frustration and confusion over her husband's responses, affecting everyday interactions and decisions from movie dates to household chores.

Duhamel skillfully uses this linguistic difference as a metaphor for deeper communication barriers. The speaker's insistence on clarity and the husband's culturally ingrained indirectness clash, highlighting a common struggle in cross-cultural relationships—how to bridge differences without losing one's identity. The speaker suggests American solutions like therapy or self-help books, which her husband agrees to, albeit possibly insincerely, showcasing another layer of miscommunication.

The introduction of "tampo," a Filipino cultural behavior of sulking or showing subdued hostility when offended, adds depth to the poem. It shows how cultural behaviors affect personal interactions and how they are perceived differently by someone outside that culture. The poem suggests that in Filipino culture, resolving such feelings doesn't necessarily involve direct confrontation or discussion, but rather a demonstration of care and concern, which conflicts with the speaker's more straightforward American approach.

The resolution of the poem subtly indicates that understanding and compromise are possible. The husband shares a piece of cultural knowledge about Kwan Yin, signaling his attempt to connect and apologize. This gesture is received positively by the speaker, suggesting that while the communication styles may differ, mutual respect and effort can lead to better understanding.

Ultimately, "Yes" by Denise Duhamel addresses the challenges and adjustments required in a cross-cultural relationship with empathy and a touch of irony. It calls attention to the importance of cultural sensitivity and the need for both parties to make efforts towards understanding each other's backgrounds and communication styles. The poem closes on a note of continued uncertainty but also a hint of hope, as the speaker remains attentive to the subtleties of her husband's communication.

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