Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Mark Strand’s "Courtship" is a provocative and darkly comedic exploration of desire, identity, and the awkward, often absurd dynamics of romantic pursuit. Through surreal humor and deliberately exaggerated behavior, the poem critiques societal expectations surrounding gender, courtship rituals, and the performance of identity. The poem’s stark honesty and unflinching portrayal of vulnerability highlight Strand’s ability to blend humor with uncomfortable truths about human interactions and the longing for intimacy.

The poem opens with the speaker attempting to impress a girl by making a bold, almost absurd confession about the size of his penis, only to frame it as a source of inner conflict. This declaration is at once brash and self-effacing, setting the tone for the poem’s exploration of the contradictions inherent in desire. The speaker claims that his penis’s "demands are ridiculous" and "self-defeating," reflecting an awareness of the burdens and expectations tied to masculinity and sexuality. However, his desire for the penis to be "honored somehow, / briefly, inconspicuously, in the dark" introduces a poignant vulnerability, revealing his yearning for validation and connection.

The girl’s horrified reaction to this blunt and unexpected confession shifts the dynamic, and the speaker quickly backtracks, reimagining his identity in an attempt to salvage the situation. By claiming he is "almost a girl" and can empathize with her shock, the speaker employs humor and self-deprecation to navigate the discomfort, showcasing his desperation to maintain her attention. This pivot to a more fluid self-representation disrupts traditional gender norms and highlights the performative nature of courtship, as the speaker continuously reinvents himself to appeal to the girl’s expectations.

As she begins to walk away, the speaker escalates his attempts to connect, renouncing his initial claims by asserting that he has "no penis" and doesn’t "know what got into" him. This moment of self-abnegation underscores the poem’s satirical commentary on the lengths individuals go to in pursuit of intimacy. By getting "on [his] knees," the speaker adopts a posture of submission, signaling both his contrition and his willingness to surrender his dignity for the possibility of closeness. This act of abasement elicits a tender response from the girl, who bends down to kiss his shoulder—a gesture that reintroduces the possibility of mutual connection and suggests that vulnerability, even when exaggerated, can foster intimacy.

The speaker seizes this moment to further complicate his identity, declaring a desire to "bear children" as a way of explaining his confusion. This claim, both earnest and absurd, challenges traditional notions of gender roles and expectations within relationships. By cursing "the day [he] was born," the speaker dramatizes his existential frustration, transforming his longing into a performance that invites both pity and empathy. The girl’s effort to "calm" him reflects her shifting perspective, as she becomes invested in his emotional turmoil despite—or perhaps because of—its theatricality.

The poem’s climax occurs as the speaker loses control, reaching for the girl’s panties while simultaneously begging for forgiveness. This moment, though unsettling, encapsulates the raw, primal nature of desire, which the speaker experiences as "monumental." The juxtaposition of his vulnerability and his animalistic craving creates a tension that is both comedic and uncomfortable, revealing the complexities of human longing. The speaker’s "howl like a wolf" underscores the instinctual and performative aspects of his pursuit, as he enacts a primal role in his quest for connection.

In the poem’s final lines, the girl is described as being "taken by storm," suggesting that the speaker’s relentless, chaotic energy ultimately overpowers her resistance. The declaration that "she is the girl you will marry" transforms the courtship into a foregone conclusion, implying a predestined inevitability to their union. This resolution, however, is tinged with irony, as the chaotic and unorthodox nature of their interaction challenges conventional romantic ideals. Strand’s portrayal of courtship as a process marked by absurdity, confusion, and raw emotion subverts traditional narratives of romance, instead offering a darkly humorous and deeply human perspective.

The poem’s structure, with its short, enjambed lines and conversational tone, mirrors the disjointed, improvisational nature of the speaker’s attempts to connect with the girl. The lack of punctuation in key moments enhances the sense of urgency and chaos, reflecting the speaker’s emotional volatility and the unpredictability of his approach. Strand’s use of direct language and surreal humor allows the poem to oscillate between the comedic and the unsettling, creating a dynamic and multifaceted portrayal of courtship.

"Courtship" ultimately captures the messiness and absurdity of human relationships, highlighting the tension between societal expectations and the raw, instinctual nature of desire. The speaker’s exaggerated behavior serves as both a critique of traditional courtship rituals and a reflection of the vulnerability and desperation that often underlie romantic pursuits. By blending humor, discomfort, and tenderness, Strand offers a compelling and unconventional exploration of intimacy, one that resonates with the complexities of human connection.

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