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ON THE M104, by             Poet Analysis     Poet's Biography

"On the M104" by Denise Duhamel delves into the deep and often unspoken emotions of longing and connection, set against the backdrop of a mundane bus ride in New York City. The poem transcends the everyday setting, exploring metaphysical themes and the universal search for a lost part of ourselves, perhaps a twin or a divine presence that once made us whole.

The poem begins by positing a form of longing that is deeply ingrained yet elusive, suggesting that it might stem from the loss of a cellular twin early in gestation. This image of a twin, who like a petal was once part of a whole, introduces the theme of separation and the inherent loneliness of human existence. Duhamel uses the metaphor of being a singular petal separated from its flower to evoke the feeling of isolation that each person carries within them—a longing for a reunion with a part of themselves that was lost before they even had a chance to know it.

As the poem unfolds on the M104 bus, the speaker reflects on her favorite way to sleep, which mirrors this intrinsic desire for closeness and reunion. Her description of sleeping—nestled against someone else, in a position that mimics an embryonic state—evokes a yearning to return to a time of original wholeness and peace. The physical description subtly shifts into a metaphorical space where each temporary companion on her journey becomes a stand-in for this lost twin, the "underwater uterine-angel," a primordial companion who represents unconditional acceptance and love.

The imagery of a soldier feeling a phantom itch where his arm once was powerfully captures the visceral nature of this longing. It’s not just a psychological or emotional absence; it's felt physically, a ghostly reminder of what was once there. Duhamel extends this metaphor to the act of looking into mirrors and dressing up as someone else, suggesting that in trying to find or recreate our lost halves, we often adopt multiple identities, searching for the one that feels most complete.

As the bus journey continues, the mundane becomes magical when the sunlight reflects off a passenger’s jewelry, creating a fleeting moment of beauty that illuminates the bus. This momentary magic, however brief and random, is likened to the appearance of lost gods—ephemeral and elusive, yet profoundly transformative. The poem suggests that these divine moments of connection are all around us, often overlooked or lost in the shadows of daily life, yet capable of reconnecting us to a sense of wonder and the eternal.

The concluding lines, where the passengers who witnessed the light check their watches and bracelets, wondering about the source of the beauty, reinforce the theme of seeking and the difficulty of pinpointing the divine in the everyday. The shared look among the passengers who saw the light serves as a subtle acknowledgment of their collective experience—a brief connection in their otherwise separate lives, mirroring the poem’s exploration of fleeting unity and the continuous human search for lost complements.

"On the M104" is a contemplative and beautifully layered poem that uses a simple bus ride to explore profound themes of loss, identity, and the human condition. Duhamel crafts a narrative that is both personal and universal, a meditation on the fragments of divinity and wholeness that we all chase, sometimes without even knowing why.


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