Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Linda Pastan's poem "Cousins" explores the complex emotions tied to family, memory, and the passage of time. The poem, set against the backdrop of funerals where cousins reunite, delves into the bittersweet nature of these gatherings—moments that blend nostalgia, grief, and the shared history that binds family members together despite the years and distances that have grown between them.

The poem opens with the stark reality of funerals as the rare occasions when the cousins come together: "We meet at funerals / every few years—another star / in the constellation of our family / put out." The imagery of a "constellation" immediately evokes a sense of a larger, interconnected family unit, where each member is a star contributing to the overall brightness. However, the extinguishing of these stars through death dims the constellation, symbolizing the fading of the family as its members pass away. Despite the failing light, the cousins "look completely / different, completely the same," capturing the paradox of aging: while outward appearances change, there remains an essential core that remains unchanged, rooted in shared blood and history.

As the cousins reconnect, they ask each other the usual questions: "What are you doing now?" and "How / have you been?" These inquiries, though seemingly mundane, are laced with deeper meanings. The casual conversations serve as a way to touch base, to briefly catch up on lives that have diverged over time. Yet, as the poem suggests, it is the past that feels more tangible than the present: "At these times / the past is more palpable / than our children waiting / at home or the wives and husbands tugging / at our sleeves." This reflects how the shared childhood memories and experiences dominate their interactions, eclipsing even the pressing realities of their current lives.

The act of remembering is both joyful and painful: "And laughter is as painful / as if our ribs had secret / cracks in them." The laughter that comes from reminiscing is not purely happy—it is tinged with the awareness of loss, the passage of time, and the fragility of life. The "secret cracks" in their ribs suggest a vulnerability that is exposed during these reunions, as memories resurface and the weight of the past becomes almost too much to bear.

The poem also explores the role of physical features and genetics in maintaining a connection to the past: "Our childhoods remain / only in the sharp bones / of our noses, the shape / of our eyes, the way our genes call out / to each other." Even as they grow older and their lives diverge, the cousins are reminded of their shared origins through their physical similarities, which serve as tangible links to their shared childhood and ancestry.

Pastan raises profound questions about memory and loss: "How much of memory / is imagination? And if loss / is an absence, why does it grow / so heavy?" These lines suggest the fluid and sometimes unreliable nature of memory, where the past is often reconstructed in ways that blend reality with imagination. The paradox of loss growing "heavy" despite being an absence speaks to the enduring weight of grief, which accumulates and becomes more burdensome over time, even as loved ones fade from the physical world.

The poem concludes with the speaker reflecting on the deep grief that these family gatherings evoke: "Sometimes I feel the grief / of these occasions swell / in me until I become / an instrument in which language rises / like music." This powerful metaphor conveys how the speaker's emotions build up until they feel like a vessel for expressing the sorrow that words alone cannot fully capture. The reference to a "bagpipe"—an instrument known for its mournful, resonant sound—underscores the somber tone of these farewells, where even the act of saying "Goodbye" feels heavy and filled with unspoken sadness.

"Cousins" by Linda Pastan poignantly captures the interplay of memory, loss, and the enduring connections that bind family members together. The poem reveals how these rare reunions, set against the backdrop of funerals, bring to the surface the complex emotions tied to the past and the present. Through its rich imagery and introspective tone, the poem invites readers to reflect on the ways in which family, memory, and grief are intertwined, creating a tapestry of shared experiences that persist even as time marches on.

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