Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Linda Pastan's poem "After an Absence" poignantly explores the complexities of rekindling a relationship after a period of separation, capturing the subtle shifts in intimacy and the challenges of reconnecting with a partner who has grown older, both in physical appearance and in emotional distance. Through tender and reflective language, the poem delves into the nuances of married life, the passage of time, and the delicate process of rediscovering love in the midst of everyday realities.

The poem begins by acknowledging that the absence between the two people was "no one's fault," immediately setting a tone of understanding and acceptance. Despite this, the absence has created a space of shyness and unfamiliarity: "we are shy with each other, / and our words seem younger than we are." The idea that their words feel younger suggests a disconnect between their present selves and the people they were when they first met, as if they must "return to the time we met / and work ourselves back to the present." This evokes the notion that, like a book, a relationship cannot simply resume where it left off but must be revisited from the beginning to regain its continuity and depth.

Pastan likens this process to the way one might "never read a story / from the place you stopped / but always start each book all over again." This metaphor highlights the necessity of reestablishing a connection from the ground up, rather than attempting to pick up from where they left off, emphasizing the importance of revisiting the foundations of their relationship.

The poem continues with a reflection on how they might have maintained their connection during the absence: "Perhaps we should have stayed / tied like mountain climbers / by the safe cord of the phone." The comparison of the phone to a "safe cord" underscores the idea of communication as a lifeline, something that could have kept them tethered together even when physically apart. The "dial our own small prayer wheel" suggests a ritualistic, almost sacred quality to their conversations, which could have preserved a sense of closeness. However, the reality is that their voices now feel "ghostly across the miles" and "awkward" in person, indicating that the distance has created a barrier that must be carefully navigated.

As the speaker observes the physical changes in her partner—"I had forgotten the grey in your curls, / that splash of winter over your face"—she is reminded of the passage of time and the inevitability of aging. This acknowledgment of her partner's aging prompts her own self-reflection: "And I feel myself turn old and ordinary." The shift from focusing on the romantic ideal of their reunion to the mundane realities of life—"having to think again of food for supper, / the animals to be tended"—illustrates the pull of daily responsibilities that can quickly overshadow moments of connection. The "riptide / of daily life" is described as "hidden but perilous," emphasizing how the demands of routine can silently and swiftly pull them away from the intimacy they seek to restore.

The speaker's dream of their bed as "a shore where we would be washed up" contrasts with the reality of their "striped mattress / we must cover with sheets." This imagery evokes a longing for the bed to be a place of refuge and renewal, yet the practical task of making the bed underscores the gap between fantasy and reality. The poem acknowledges the weight of "all the old business between us, / like mail unanswered so long that silence / becomes eloquent, a message of its own." This line captures the accumulated silences and unresolved issues that linger in the background, now speaking volumes in their absence of words.

In the closing lines, Pastan reflects on the nature of married love, describing it as "a territory more mysterious / the more it is explored." This comparison to an ever-unfolding landscape, "like one of those terrains / you read about," highlights the ongoing complexity and unpredictability of marriage. The final image of a "garden in the desert / where you stoop to drink, never knowing / if your mouth will fill with water or sand" powerfully conveys the uncertainty that accompanies attempts to reconnect and rekindle love. It suggests that within this mysterious territory of married life, moments of nourishment and fulfillment are interspersed with those of disappointment or emptiness, leaving the couple to navigate these contrasts together.

"After an Absence" is a beautifully layered exploration of the challenges and rewards of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship, especially after a period of separation. Through her evocative language and metaphors, Linda Pastan captures the delicate dance of reconnecting with a loved one, acknowledging the passage of time and the complexities that accompany it. The poem ultimately reflects on the enduring mystery of love, where each return to the relationship brings both familiar comforts and new challenges, all part of the intricate and ongoing journey of partnership.

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