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Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained | |||
In Edward Field’s poem “Bukowski Option,” written in memory of Charles Bukowski, Field navigates the complexities of aging with humor, vulnerability, and a candid exploration of societal expectations. He contrasts the life paths of “Dignity” and the “Bukowski Option,” reflecting on his own choices and paying tribute to Bukowski's unapologetic authenticity. The poem begins with a clear juxtaposition between two approaches to growing old: “The Bukowski Option, / which allows you to express all your nastier impulses / and tell the world to go fuck itself,” and “the discipline of Dignity.” Field characterizes the Bukowski Option as the “Way of Purity, the Bohemian Ideal,” embodying a refusal to “Sell Out.” In contrast, the “discipline of Dignity” demands restraint and is “made more difficult / when you have to take a leak / and every restaurant has a sign in the window, / ‘Toilet for customers only.’” This humorous imagery captures the frustration of aging within societal norms. Field admits that he “lived most of my life as a freak,” using his unconventional lifestyle to express his disdain for capitalism. Eventually, though, he “opted for Dignity / as a protection and disguise / for my battered dreams— / ideals I still believe in.” He grapples with the internal conflict between continuing to live as a rebel and the desire to preserve a semblance of respectability. However, the realities of aging reveal themselves when he looks in the mirror and sees “that sagging face” staring back at him. This realization makes him “too conceited / to look like I have dirty underwear / or droopy pants like a full diaper.” Field acknowledges Bukowski's refusal to conform to social expectations, insisting on “thrusting / his entire ugly face in our faces.” This quality made Bukowski both entertaining and repellent, as he “snarled at the world.” Field contemplates what it would be like to fully embrace the Bukowski Option: “to live like a slob, / and smoke my head off, drink, / and eat junk food.” Despite the allure, he recognizes that he’s “too much of a hypochondriac” to commit fully to this lifestyle. Still, he considers that “at some point, maybe, / when there’s nothing left to lose,” he might indulge. Field then describes the challenges of the Dignity path, which often requires disappearing from public view. He recounts the story of a composer who only ventured out at night, likening it to being “the man without a face.” For Field, “Dignity is a good way of disappearing,” leading people to be thankful that “the old wreck / isn’t being a troublemaker.” Despite his choice of Dignity, Field confesses that it’s a “constant / struggle not to be nasty,” harboring a “ball of hatred and disgust / in your gut for the world.” He admits a preference for “lovey-dovey people” but remains skeptical of the “pixyish codgers / with their wispy hair and illumined eyes.” He wonders if they have truly found peace or if they are “frauds.” Field contrasts this skepticism with an anecdote about a librarian cooing over his “shrunken, ancient father,” who played along. He labels this behavior “Pitiful!” and suggests that “Nasty would be better,” humorously proposing to “drop a loud fart, for example, / in the hush of the library.” In the supermarket, Field describes an encounter with a cashier who automatically prepares two bags for him, recognizing his need for convenience due to age. This awareness makes Field want to “leave a puddle on the floor,” a defiant gesture against being read “like a book.” The poem concludes with a lament about dignity and the freedom Bukowski embodied. Field contrasts his own struggle with finding bathrooms against dogs that are “free to squat / or lift its leg to pee.” He imagines Bukowski turning “to a wall and take / a necessary leak,” ultimately concluding that his “worst mistake / was choosing / Dignity.” In summary, “Bukowski Option” is a humorous yet poignant reflection on aging, societal expectations, and the tension between rebellion and conformity. Edward Field captures the spirit of Charles Bukowski’s unapologetic lifestyle while acknowledging the personal challenges and contradictions that come with choosing Dignity. The poem is a tribute to Bukowski’s authenticity and a candid admission of the struggles of growing old in a society obsessed with decorum.
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