Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Jack Gilbert’s poem "Trying to Be Married" poignantly captures the complexities of a long-term relationship, marked by love, struggle, and the passage of time. Through the evocative imagery of a serene yet emotionally charged moment, Gilbert explores the quiet persistence and challenges inherent in sustaining a marriage.

The poem begins with a tranquil and vivid scene: "Watching my wife out in the full moon, the sea bright behind her across the field and through the trees." This opening line sets a tone of reflective observation. The imagery of the full moon and the bright sea behind her evokes a sense of calm and beauty, suggesting a moment of peaceful contemplation. The natural elements—moon, sea, field, and trees—create a serene backdrop that contrasts with the underlying emotional turbulence hinted at in the poem.

Gilbert then moves to a more introspective reflection on their relationship: "Eight years and her love for me quieted away." This line encapsulates the passage of time and the subtle, often imperceptible changes that occur within a long-term relationship. The phrase "quieted away" suggests a fading or softening of intensity, implying that the love that once might have been more vibrant and vocal has now settled into a quieter, perhaps more subdued form. This evolution of love is presented not with resentment but with a nuanced understanding of its complexity.

The poem's tone shifts to one of admiration and acknowledgment of effort: "How fine she is. How hard we struggle." These lines highlight the duality of the speaker's feelings. On one hand, there is a clear recognition and appreciation of the wife's inherent goodness and qualities—"How fine she is." On the other hand, the phrase "How hard we struggle" acknowledges the challenges and efforts required to maintain the marriage. The struggle mentioned here is not specified, allowing for a broad interpretation that encompasses the myriad difficulties couples face over the years. This struggle could involve communication, personal growth, external pressures, or the simple wear and tear of daily life together.

The juxtaposition of admiration and struggle in these lines encapsulates the essence of many long-term relationships. The beauty and worth of the partner are evident, yet the effort to sustain the connection remains significant. Gilbert’s choice to end the poem on this note underscores the ongoing nature of marriage—it's a continuous journey of both appreciation and effort.

"Trying to Be Married" captures the delicate balance between love and labor in a long-term relationship. Gilbert's evocative imagery and concise language convey a deep, reflective understanding of the complexities of marriage. The poem invites readers to consider the enduring nature of commitment and the quiet, persistent love that underpins the challenges of staying together over time. Through this brief yet profound piece, Gilbert offers a glimpse into the enduring beauty and effort of shared life.

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