Classic and Contemporary Poetry: Explained

Marie Howe’s “Memorial” is a hauntingly reflective exploration of loss, memory, and the complex ways in which the living navigate the absence of the dead. Through its intertwining narratives, the poem examines the ceremonial and mundane, capturing the fragmented nature of grief and the fleeting moments of transcendence that sometimes accompany it. The interplay between the physical remnants of the deceased and the metaphysical weight of their absence lends the poem its striking emotional depth.

The poem begins with a detailed account of the dispersal of Billy’s possessions, an act that combines ritualistic reverence with everyday practicality. Each object—a leather jacket, a Polaroid camera, a rug, a lamp—serves as a tangible link to Billy’s life, imbuing the material with an almost sacred significance. Yet the act of claiming these items is presented with a certain matter-of-factness, emphasizing the human tendency to anchor memories in objects. Frances’s gesture of wrapping a belt around Nick’s neck and claiming it highlights the tension between grief and the living’s assertion of agency in the wake of loss.

The act of scattering Billy’s ashes on the dunes is the poem’s central ritual, rendered with a mixture of solemnity and absurdity. The ashes, blown back into the mourners’ faces by the wind, become a poignant metaphor for the unavoidable intimacy of grief. Even as the ceremony unfolds, the speaker’s thoughts are preoccupied with the practicalities of leadership—“Michael is taking charge when Billy said I was in charge of the ashes”—revealing how the mind oscillates between the profound and the trivial in moments of loss.

The poem’s theological undertone emerges in the comparison to the Biblical story of Mary and Martha. Martha’s frustration with her sister’s inaction mirrors the speaker’s own struggle with the weight of responsibility and the insufficiency of ceremony in addressing grief. The mention of Jesus’s quiet wisdom contrasts with Martha’s bustling pragmatism, underscoring the tension between spiritual surrender and the human need to do something in the face of loss.

The description of Billy’s death is both raw and transcendent. The “three quick breaths” and the gradual cessation of life are narrated with clinical precision, yet the moment is suffused with a sense of expansion, as if Billy’s spirit transcends his physical body. The “nearly unendurable joy” that fills the room contrasts with the finality of his death, suggesting that his essence—his vastness—was too great to be contained by his mortal form. This juxtaposition of joy and sorrow reflects the paradoxical nature of grief, where love and loss coexist.

The poem transitions to the speaker’s present life, where her relationship with James serves as a counterpoint to the loss of Billy. James’s physicality—his stomping boots, his movements by the fire—is grounded in the tangible and contrasts with the ethereal memory of Billy. The speaker’s thoughts, oscillating between affection and criticism, reflect the ongoing struggle to reconcile love and imperfection in the living. James’s simplicity—“Yes you do. You’ve forgotten, but you’ll remember again”—offers a quiet affirmation of continuity and hope, even as the speaker wrestles with existential doubt.

The closing image of James leaning over the speaker and brushing her face with his lashes is tender and grounding, a moment of connection that bridges the chasm of loss. His simple question—“What do you want to eat?”—returns the focus to the immediate and the physical, reminding the speaker, and perhaps the reader, that life persists in the most ordinary acts.

“Memorial” masterfully captures the fragmented, nonlinear experience of mourning. Through its vivid imagery and layered narrative, the poem delves into the rituals, memories, and relationships that define our attempts to make sense of death. Howe’s ability to interweave the sacred and the mundane creates a tapestry that honors the complexity of grief while affirming the resilience of the living.

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